英语小品剧本_英语小品剧本搞笑

2024-09-06 17:57:04

1.求英语小品的剧本！！！高一水平的！！！两人的。

2.谁有6人英语搞笑短剧剧本?15分钟左右

3.5人英语小品，简单，带音标

4.求一个英语小品（七人演的）

5.英语短剧剧本五个人的幽默的带翻译

6.求简单英语五人小品剧本，请看清下面的补充要求。在线等，挺急的。

7.商场英语小品，情景剧。50分奉送。

英语小品剧本_英语小品剧本搞笑

焦仲卿Johnny(Jforshort) 刘兰芝Lunch(Lforshort)

焦母Johnny`smother(JMforshort) 刘母Lunch’smother(LMforshort)

太守之子Mayor’sson(MSforshort) 强盗Burglars(ABandC)

Prologue

(J作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,J被打中,狼狈不堪)

J:Everybody says thatI’m hen pecked,but infact,I’m as strong as a tiger,(小声)while my

wife is WuSong.

(指着上台处的门大声道)I’m not afraid of you!

(内砸出一脸盆,J接住当成盾牌护着头)Then,I’m afraid of whom?

My wife Lunch is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.She is brer than me,

smarter than me and stronger than me.All this I donotcare.I only want her to be tender

than me.But she is not!Hing a wife like this is just like living in the hell!

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中J)

My God!Who can help me?(下)

Act1

(序幕结束时,JM作窃听状)

JM(拄拐棍上):Ican!

(对门内)Lunch!Lunch!Where are you?

L(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):I’m here!What’sup mum?

JM:I’ve told you again and again that you should call me“my most beautiful graceful and

dearest mother-in-law”.

L:OK.My most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law,what’sup?

JM:Since you married my son you he behed so badly.You he been sorude,sobrusque,so

lazy……

L:But……

英语小品剧本--《孔雀东南飞》（英文搞笑话剧）

JM:Never interrupt me!

L:Never interrupt me!Since I married your son,that terrible Johnny,I he been working hard all

day long,cooking and washing.I he raised ten soft hous and sof pigs and ducks and chicken

and……

JM:But all those you he done are not as valua bleasagr and son!

L(生气地挥动着锅铲):Oh,you want a grandson,don’t you?(开始解围裙)Goand ask your

son.I’m leing!(扯下围裙,扔在JM的脸上,下)

Act2

(LM坐在台上打毛线,L拿着锅铲上)

L:Mum,I’m back!

LM:You are back?Why?What hened?

L:I was kicked out by my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother–in-law.

LM(惊讶,但随即露出幸灾乐祸的神情):See!I he already told you!When you in sistedon

marrying that terrible Johnny,I told you that he is ugly stupid and poor,but you did not listen

to me.Look at yourself……

L:But,mum……

LM:Never interrup tme!

L:Mum,I’m not interrupting you.I just want to tell you that you are always right OK?And

I’ll marry whom ever you want me to

LM(大喜):Nice girl!Just now,I` m the mayor`s son in the market.He said:“If your daughter

Hen’t been married,I really really want to marry her!”Now you are free again,I’ll go

and tell him.(下)

L(惊愕):What?The mayor`s son?The most famous play boy in the neighbor-hood?(手中的锅

铲掉在地上)What a silly thing I he done!(下)

Act3

(J睡眼惺忪上)

J(边走边道):Lunch!Lunch!Where are my socks?

(走了几步,在地上捡起袜子)Here they are!(闻一下) Er!How smelly!They are still dirty!

(突然想起)Lunch has gone!I he to wash them myself.

(他的肚子似乎咕咕叫了起来)Oh,I’m so hungry!But there’s no breakfast!(捡起地上的围

裙)This is what Lunch always wears!I miss her so much,and her excellent cooking skill!Now

she has gone.I he to cook for my mother and myself.

JM(上):Where’s my breakfast?Where’sLunch?Hasn’t she got up yet?

J:Mum,can’t you remember?Lunch has gone!

JM(沉吟片刻):Well,to tell you the truth Johnny,a son without a wife is useless.Lunch is a nice

girl,goand take her back!

J(立正敬礼):Yes madam!

接上面内容

Act4

(J开心地走着，忽然跳出来三个强盗)

A:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!

The road is built by me!(抬脚重重地踩在一块大石头上)

B:And I planted one tree!(亦抬脚踩在同一块石头上)

C:If you want to go by this street---(欲踩石头，但踩到了A的脚)

AB&C:Give usall your money!

J(搜遍了每一个口袋，掏出1角硬币):Is 1mao enough?

(三强盗晕倒状，接着三人聚在一边商量)

A:What bad luck!This guy is broken!

B:If we can not rob any money today,we will he nothing to eat tonight!

C:I heard that the mayor’s son is going to marry Miss LiuLanzhi next month.WE can go and

rob the wedding!

A&B:Good idea!

J(惊讶):What?What?Lunch is going to get married?It’s impossible!

AB&C:Why?Apretty girl and a rich man,what a good couple!

J:But Lunch is my wife!We hen’t got divorced yet!

(突然有了主意)I’ve got an idea!You are going to rob the wedding,don’t you?I’llgo

with you.You take the money and I take the bride.

B:He you got any experience?

J:No.But I’ve got this!(J脱下鞋子从里面摸出一张支票，上书＄1，000，000)

Act5

(转眼已到了婚礼之期．MS意气风发用红绸牵着新娘上，J盖着红盖头极不情愿地被拉上台)

(J和三强盗跃至台中)

ABC&J:Hey you!Stop and listen to us!

A:The road is built by me!

B:And I planted one tree.

C:If you want to go by this street---

J:Give usall your money!

(L听到J的声音，掀起了盖头)

L(惊喜万分):Johnny!(不顾一切地飞奔到J的身边并躲到了的身后)

(MS大怒，挥拳向J打来．J矮身一躲，MS打中了J身后的L，L晕倒)

J(火冒三丈):How dare you beat my wife!（挥拳向MS冲去）

(J与MS混战，JM上，以拐杖击晕MS)

(J将MS胸前的新郎标志扯下戴在自己胸前)

J(扶起L，关切地问):Honey,how are you?

L(哭状):I hurt a lot!

J:Don’t cry baby.I’ll go and fetch the medicine. (下)

L(起身去追):Wait forme! (跑下)

(音乐起 Can You Celebrat

这是我们学校戏剧节比赛获奖的舞台剧

求英语小品的剧本！！！高一水平的！！！两人的。

焦仲卿johnny(jforshort)

刘兰芝lunch(lforshort)

焦母johnny’s mother(jmforshort)

刘母lunch’s mother(lmforshort)

太守之子mayor’sson(msforshort)

强盗burglars(abandc)

prologue 序幕

(j作被打状跑上台,内砸出一卷纸筒,j被打中,狼狈不堪)

j:everybody says that i’m hen pecked, but in fact,i’m a strong tiger,(小声)while my

wife is wusong.

译：都说我怕老婆，实际上我是老虎，（小声）我妻子是武松。

(指着上台处的门大声道)i’m not afraid of you!

译：我才不怕你呢！

(内砸出一脸盆,j接住当成盾牌护着头)then, i’m afraid of whom! my wife lunchi is the most famous woman in the neighbor-hood.she is brer than me,smarter than me and stronger than me .all this i donot care. i only want she to be tender than me. but she is not! hing a wife like this is just like living in the hell!

译：谁怕谁啊！在邻里中，我妻子是最有名气的。她比我勇敢、比我聪明、比我强壮。我也不在乎这些。我只觉得她该对我温柔些，但是她却不懂温柔！有这样的太太就像活在地狱中啊！

(内又砸出一卷纸筒,击中j)

my god! who can help me?(下)

译：我的天！谁来救救我啊？

act1 第一幕

(序幕结束时,jm作窃听状)

jm(拄拐棍上):i can!

(对门内)lunch! lunch! where are you?

l(扎着围裙,拿着锅铲,从门内跳出来):i’m here! what’s up ，mum?

jm:i he told you again and again that you should call me “my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother in law”.

l:ok.my most beautiful graceful and dearest mother-in-law, what’s up?

谁有6人英语搞笑短剧剧本?15分钟左右

旁白：I think everybody knows the Chinese story 狐虎威. You know the fox cheat the tiger. When the tiger knew the truth, he felt very angry. He hated the fox very much. Can you imagine when the fox meet with the tiger again, what will hen?

One day, a new story hens.

(一)

琵琶弹奏：《金蛇狂舞》

场景：狐狸在前面跑，老虎在后面追。老虎一把揪住狐狸，喘三口气后，将狐狸翻转过来。

老虎：(暴怒地，用手指指着狐狸的鼻子)You cheat me last time. Cheat me! How dare you! Now, you are dying. Ah ha ha ha!

狐狸：(背过头去，小声地)：Oh, unlucky! What shall I do?

(回过头来，可怜地)：I feel very sorry for cheating you last time，but, but ,but……(左顾右盼)

老虎：(疑惑地)But what?

狐狸：(推脱中)But…….(眼睛往远处上下打量，迷恋状，脚不由自主地走出去)Beautiful!

老虎：(一把将狐狸拽回来) What?

狐狸：(向远处努努嘴)You girl friend Linda! Look, she’s there!

老虎：(傻呼呼，左右张望，急忙放手去找)Where? Where? Linda, I love you!(狐狸乘机溜走)(l老虎望着空空如也的手) I hate fox!(气得上窜下跳)

(二)

旁白：Unfortunately, after a few days, the tiger meet with the fox again.

老虎在森林里又遇到了溜达中的狐狸，又一下子冲上去把狐狸压在爪下。

(琵琶拨一下弦，以示紧张的情绪。)

老虎：(暴怒地)Now, you can make a choice. You want me bite you head first or your fat leg first?

(先抚摩狐狸的头发，再打量狐狸的腿)

狐狸：(回过头去，表情像遇到鬼)Shit!(又回过头来，非常可怜状)(二胡《梁祝》响起)

Oh, oh, oh, oh, help yourself to some fox please. I hate myself, too.(狐狸捂着脸痛苦地跪下)My mother says I’m not a good boy. I always tell lies.(狐狸突然蹿起来) But, they say, tiger is a kind of strong animal. Maybe the strongest animal in the world. Before I die, can you show me how strong you are?

老虎：(得意极了，做出各种健美展示姿势)Of course. I’m a great animal. I’m proud of myself.

狐狸：(试探地)I heard there was a Chinese called 刘翔. He can cover 110 meters in 10 seconds. Can you?

老虎：(想想就好笑)Wa ha ha ha ! wa ha ha ha! Poor mankind! How slow! Wash your eyes! (老虎用手将狐狸的脑袋推开)Look!(老虎一溜烟跑了起来)

狐狸：(挥挥手，远远望去)sa yu na la! (二胡配轻松得意的音乐)

(三)

旁白：Now, fate plays another joke on the fox .He meet with the tiger again.

老虎变聪明了躲在树后面，一下子扑住了狐狸。

狐狸：(不解地)Who?

老虎：(意味深长地)Your old friend! Tiger!

狐狸：(装傻地)Oh, hen’t see you for a long time. How are you?(狐狸帮老虎整理领子，用袖子帮老虎擦衣服)

老虎：(阴险地)Very very nice! Now, I see my lunch. Dilicious!(狐狸听了脚抖)

狐狸：(打喷嚏)a ti ! a ti ! (煞有介事地)I admit I’v cheat you for 3 times. But, you know, it’s all for your sake.

老虎：(疑惑地)For my sake?

狐狸：(可怜巴巴地)Yes. To tell the truth, I’m not a normal fox!

老虎：(不甘示弱地)I’m not a normal tiger, too.

狐狸：(娓娓道来) I looked it up in the dictionary, and I know, in Chinese, they call me 果子狸。

老虎：(没明白)果子狸？

狐狸：(一拍脑袋，装想起来)Oh, I forget, you can’t speak Chinese!

老虎：(得意地，想想就好笑地)Wa ha ha ha! Wa ha ha ha ! My mother always tell me ：to learn a forgien language is very important! I’ve learnt Chinese in school! Am I great! (突然醒悟过来)Wait, what did you say? Chinese call you what?

狐狸：果子狸。

老虎：果子狸？SARS? 非典？

狐狸：(点点头)Yes!

老虎：(放开手，大叫着跑了)wa ya!(边跑，边擦手)

(四)

旁白：From then on, fox become the real King of the forest.

二胡演奏We are the champion

狐狸大摇大摆地走在前面，后面有两个小喽罗在敲背。一个小喽罗敲得重了。狐狸把手一挥。Go! Go! Go! 将其赶走。

狐狸走在台中，大笑起来：Ah ha ha ha ha! Ah ha ha ha ha!

期间，夹杂着老虎的哭声。

5人英语小品，简单，带音标

点：某个公司的办公室里

人物：应聘的：

小南

小东

公司的老板王总

秘书：小黄

专业：小灵

小华

（注意人物要男的）

“老板，有两位来应聘了”秘书说。

“哦，赶快请他们进来”老板高兴的说。

“是，老板”

“两位请进”秘书说。

“你好，我叫小南，我是来应聘的”其中一名（长得不错）的男子开口了

“哦，你叫小南啊，很高兴认识你”老板一边说一边我这小南的手激动的甩

“你好，我叫小东，我也是来应聘的”另外一名男子也说话了

“你好你好”老板一边说一边兴奋的握住他的手不放

“那好吧请你们两位每人走一场秀给我看，小南，你先来”老板说

“好吧”说完后

小南便左手叉腰，走着步，向老板走去。

“不行不行”一边说还一边摇头

“我来吧”小东开口了

“好吧你来吧”老板无奈的说

说完小东也学着小南刚刚的样子有模有样的向老板走了过去

“还是不行

秘书你去示范一次给他们看吧”老板不满意的说

“好的"说完秘书也左手叉腰走着步，向老板走去。

“还是不对啊

小灵小华出来

你们示范一次给他们看”

刚说完便不知从哪窜出来个人他们同样左手叉腰走着步整齐地向老板走去

“不是这样的，”老板生气的说

“老板

不如你来示范一次吧

”大家不满的说

“好啊

方正我都好久没练了

想当年我可是国际名模之一啊”

只见他两手叉腰

左摇右摆的向他们走去

“怎么样啊

还不....”话还没说完

他便一下子扑倒在了地上

“老板

你怎么样...."

(完结）

求一个英语小品（七人演的）

　喜羊羊与灰太狼学生英语小品剧本，片名：一把“枪”.

剧情：喜羊羊一伙儿在一起玩，灰太狼突然袭击，进行抓捕，把美羊羊、懒羊羊抓走了。慢羊羊糊涂地给了喜羊羊一把枪，喜羊羊与暖羊羊去狼堡解救美羊羊、懒羊羊。它们被喜羊羊与沸羊羊和暖羊羊用一只枪解救，回到羊村后才发现这是枪。最后以红太狼灰太狼被定住结束。

道具：两把玩具枪。人数：五名男生，三名女生（其中一名稍胖）

出场人物：喜羊羊Pleasant Goat 美羊羊Pretty Goat 懒羊羊Lazy Goat 沸羊羊 Force Goat暖羊羊Warm Goat 慢羊羊 Slowly Goat(Village Head) 灰太狼 Big Big Wolf 红太狼 Red Big Wolf

情节对话：

（喜羊羊、美羊羊、沸羊羊、懒羊羊、慢羊羊还有暖羊羊在一起；灰太狼和红太狼在旁边隐蔽）

喜：What can we play today?

美：We he nothing to play.It’s dull!

懒：I he a good idea. （睡意朦胧）

喜、沸：What idea do you he? （好奇）

懒：Let’s sleep! （自信满满）

暖、慢：Oh,no!You are very lazy!（无奈指责）

灰：Ha!Dear goats,I’m coming!（灰太狼小声→大声，出现在羊面前）

美：Ah!Look,Big-big-wolf!Run away! （惊恐了一大跳）

（羊们开始逃跑，灰太狼追着美羊羊）

灰：Ha-ha!I’m sure that it’s a good and delicious goat!

（灰太狼紧追美羊羊）

美：Pleasant-goat!Please help me! Help,help,help! （神情紧张）

灰：It’s too late!My fourite goat.（十分贪婪，并抓住了美羊羊）

喜：Pretty-goat,I he nothing to do.But I’ll se you!

（灰太狼抓住了美羊羊后，又开始抓其它羊）

懒：Don’t touch me!Help me!（也神情紧张）

灰：Ha!Little fat goat.I’m hungry now. My wife is waiting for me.Haha! （灰太狼又抓住了懒羊羊,于是逮着懒羊羊，美羊羊走向狼堡，最后进入了狼堡）

-------------------地点转换（在狼堡）----------------------------

红：Wa!Big big wolf!You are very good! Oh,two goats! （激动）

灰:Wife.I’m going to cook them soon!Today we’ll he a super dinner,

I’m looking forward to eating goats the first（灰太狼和红太狼准备煮羊）

-----------------------地点转换（在青青草原）----------------------

慢：What to do?Pleasant-goat,find a way quickly,be quick! （着急）

沸：Pleasant goat!Find a way!

喜：There’s only one key.Let’s goto wolf’s houseand se them!

暖：What? I am very worried about that!It’s too dangerous !

（表现出害怕的样子）

慢：Ng.This is only one key.I’m wating for you.You must se Pretty-goat and Lazy goat .And this is a special gun.Big-big-wolf won’t move for an hour.Give you,Pleasant goat. （慢羊羊拿出一把枪,深沉地给了喜羊羊）

喜：That’s great!Let’s go.Warm goat and Force goat! （握住拳头）

暖,沸：Ok,let’s go to wolf’s house! （气势磅礴）

（喜羊羊它们向狼堡走去；灰太狼与红太狼正得意洋洋）

-----------------------地点转换（在狼堡）---------------------------

红：Two Little goats.You will finish!I’ll eat you! （贪婪野蛮）

美：Oh,no.I believe Pleasant goat can se me! Yes?Lazy goat?What are you doing?（无助）

懒：Let me sleep,xu.（乐观派）

美：Ah!Don’t sleep!I am very afraid ! If you don’t sleep,I will give you candy!

懒：Really?I love candy !（懒羊羊突然醒了，美羊羊点点头）

（喜羊羊，沸羊羊，暖羊羊到达，并使劲敲门）

灰：Who?Oh, wife.Maybe are the other goats!Let me catch them.

（喜羊羊拿住枪，准备瞄准；灰太狼打开门）

灰：Oh,it’s pleasant goat！I’ll get you for my dinner!

喜：Big-big-wolf.Goodbye!（Bang!!!!!!!!!!!）

（开枪）（灰太狼突然动不了了）

暖：Wa!Pleasant goat,you are very great!（赞美）

灰：Pleasant-goat!What do you do? Why can’t I move?!

（喜羊羊笑了笑，把枪给了沸羊羊）

喜：Force goat,give you gun.Let me se them.

沸：Ok!...Ng.Red big wolf！you will finish!

（喜羊羊救了美羊羊，懒羊羊,沸羊羊把枪对准红太狼）

红：What are you going to do?little fat goats? （害怕）

沸：Goodbye,Red big wolf!(bang!!!!!)

（沸羊羊向红太狼开枪；红太狼动不了了）

美，懒：Thank you,Pleasant-goat!（感激不尽）

暖：Lazy goat, pretty goat,Run away quickly!

(美羊羊，懒羊羊逃了出来)

红：Big-big-wolf,I hate you!Ah! （红太狼挣扎）

美：Mr. Big-big-wolf and Red big wolf,goodbye! （亲切）

懒：Pretty-goat,where’s my candy? （天真好奇）

美：Oh!Lovely lazy goat,I he no candy.Sorry?Don’t blame me! （违约）

懒：What?My candy!My God!...Ai,Let me sleep,xu.（无奈的）

暖：Don’t sleep!Lazy goat!We will go to our house! （命令）

（懒羊羊随即被叫醒，并打了个哈欠，之后羊群到达羊村）

慢:Pleasant goat,you’re very good!Give me special gun.（迎接）

沸：Here you are.Village Head.

慢：Ah,that’s not ture the special gun.This is ture!（激动地拿出真枪）

暖：Ah?If this……（疑惑无比）

慢：If this false gun,Big big wolf can’t move for ten days!（大声）

懒：Ha ha.Ng……And do we win?

喜，沸，暖，美：Yes!We win! （羊们笑着说）

-----------------------地点转换（在狼堡）---------------------------

红：Big-big-wolf,Where are our goats?Where?you, you,I hate you!Ah!You are foolish! （动不了了）

灰：Wu……Awful pleasant-goat,I must eat you the first!And I’m sure come back soon（哭着说）

英语短剧剧本五个人的幽默的带翻译

7人的英语小品剧本，短篇 .可任选其一。

pocket money

Characters: Narrator(N), Salesman(S), Dad(D), Maggie(M), Alice(A),

Candy(C), Policeman(P)

Preparation: 学校布景，做糖果用桌及相关材料，小贩家布景

Scene1（At Salesman’s home）

N: In a dark dirty house, there lived a small, dirty salesman. He

always makes unhealthy candies and sells them to the students. He

has a lot of money now. But how does he make the candies? Oh, xu ……

He is coming!

S: Hello, do you know me? No? Oh, let me tell you .I’m the famous

candy salesman at the school gate. My candies are very

popular,(展示)，I don’t know why. The foolish students always come

here. I’ll be a boss soon! Candy, money, candy, money……

Oops! It’s time to make candies now.(看表)

First, put the flour on the table.

Then, water, sugar, flour.(边说边做)

Now press, press……

Oh, my dirty hands! Never mind! Just do it!(满不在意的神情)

Press, press……

Oh, my god!(鼻涕)Never mind! Just do it!

Press, press, the children will not know it , it’s OK,hehehe……

Now let me cut it into pieces!

One, two, three, four, five……（用脏菜刀）

Wow, everything is ready!

糖果钻出来（跳舞），跳完后，非常难过地说：Oh, I’m so dirty and ugly! What can I do? The

students will eat me! And they will be ill! Wuwuwu…

S: Mmmm…It looks dirty, let me give you a nice coat! (给它穿上) Wow! Now

it’s so beautiful! Haha……

C: Oh, no! Don’t sell me! I’m dirty!(拖糖果下场)

Scene2（At the school gate）

N: The next day, when the class is over, all the students come

out hily and the salesman goes to the school gate as usual.

（Maggie和Alice 欢快地跑出校门，看到小贩）

(小贩拉着糖上场，吆喝)：Candies! Candies! Sweet candies! ……

M: Oh, Alice! Look! Candies!

A: Yeah! I think they are yummy!

M: Let’s ask him.

A: OK!

C: Don’t buy me！（非常焦急）

M&A: Why?

C: I’m dirty！

M: No, you look nice!

C: What can I do? (面向观众) Wuwuwu…(小贩将她拉在后面)

S: Candies! Candies!（引诱两个女孩）

M&A: How much are they?

S: Do you he money?（轻蔑）

M&A: Money?(对视)

M:Oh, I’ve no money!（失落之极）

A: Me too.

S: No money? So sorry!(吆喝着走开，下场)

M: What can we do now?

A: Let’s ask dad for money.

M: But how to ask?

A: How?…Oh,I know ,let’s make him hy ,and he will give us

money.（自信）

M: Good idea!(全部下场)

求简单英语五人小品剧本，请看清下面的补充要求。在线等，挺急的。

英语短剧剧本1

Three Times’ Beating Monster

人物：T唐僧 S：孙悟空 E：猪八戒 J：沙僧

B：白骨精 B1：B变成的村姑 B2：B变成的太婆

B3：B变化成的老头 N：哪吒

T: Emitofo,do you know where we are now?

S: Bajie,map!

E: (摸出，递给S)

S: Look,master (凑近T)………（T、S一齐转向E）

T: Bajie!How Many times I he told you, nof to bring these pictures of beautiful girls with you!

E: Oh,master!Forgive me(伸手拿回)

T: (缩手)I’ll keep it for you until we reach the west

E: But……

T: Emitofo,nothing is lust,lust is nothing! Map?

E: (递)Here.Em…… we he arrived in White Tiger Mountain!Ah I can’t walk on any more!(坐)My stomach doesn’t allow So.

S: Fat Pig!

E: Monkey,if you dare to say these two words once again,I will ,I will……….

S: You will what(凶相)?

E: (软禁)I will help you catch fleas(跳蚤).

S: Hm!

T:（轻咳）Wukong,factually,I am a bit hungry Could you go to get me some food?

E: You see ,master is hungry,too!

T: Baijie!Don’t forget who ate my last meal!

J: But master,if a monster comes while brother monkeg is away…..

T: Em…….It is a problem.Wukong,do you he any idea?

S: No problem!(安装)（B已躲在一旁偷看）

E: This is…..?

S: Electric net!I he learnt the energy of electricity from master’s books. So I made this. No monster can roach you if you stay in it!

T: Em……Wukong, you are becoming more and more scientific! Emitofo, knowledge is power!

S: Bye!(走)

T: Let’s play cards!(三人开始打牌)音乐《》

B: Hm!Hm!Electric net?You are too childish.(变成B1)

B1: (接近三人，望着)Can I join you?

T: I’m sorry,lady. We are playing Fighting Against Landlord and three people are enough.

B1: (在一旁观看)Oh,Chance! Bomb!

T: Bomb?(打出)

B1: Double King!

T: Oh….I win! Em……,Lady,you are a master-hand. Come in and teach me!(准备开电网门)

S: (回来，看见B1)Oh,monster!(上前就打)

B1: （倒)Ah……

T: (气愤)Wukong! Look what he done! She is my teacher!

S: She is a monster!

T: Nonsense!(深呼吸)

S: Oh,please don’t……

T:It’s too late!(唱)Once more……you open the door…(泰坦尼克主题曲，走音离谱)

S: Please,Please,oh,no……(痛苦抱头)

T: (呛住，咳)Wukong,I’m disointed with you!

B: (真身出现)Hm!Sun Wukong, I’ll teach you a lesson!(变成太婆)

B2:Hello,he you seen my daughter?

T: Daughter?...(连忙挡住地尸体)No,sorry!(陪笑，B2想看后面是什么，T挡)

S: （咬牙切齿）You monster, I’ll beat you into hell!(S追打B2,B2躲至T身后，S打，不想打到T头，T晕，S再打死B2)

E&J: Are you Ok, master?(扶T)

J: Look,(伸食指)how many?

T:Two…..(晕乎乎地)Sun Wukong, game over!(变成B3)

B3: (看到B1,B2尸体)Oh….,my daughter, my wife! Who did it?!!(哭喊)

S: I’ll kill you, monster!(打)

T: （想阻止，未及）You,you.....(险些晕，E,J扶住 )You he killed three lives!

S: No,they are not human beings!They are created by monster!

T: Monster?You are a real monster!Never let me see you,go!!

S: (悲，离去)（音乐，营造 “”悲伤气氛）《人鬼情未了》

E: Master, brother Monkey is.......

T: Scratch! Don't mention that guy any more!

B: (出现) Ha,ha,ha!(三尸体B1,B2,B3在B招手后“飘”走)

T: （惊）You are......

B: How foolish you are ,Mr Tang!(E,J去阻斗，被击退)

B: (抓住T)I'll enjoy your meat and blood,ha,ha......

S: (悄悄走到B后，打B,B晕)A thousand years later.

T: Wukong?

E: Oh,Brother Monkey!

J: Our hero is back!

T: I,I can't understand......What hened?

S: Master,your IQ needs increasing! This monster changed its earance into three shapes in order to cheat you!

T: How,how did you find out?

S: (沉默).......Monkey's intuition(直觉)

N: Excuse me, where is the cniminal?

S; Ah......you are too late ,Nezha!(对T)I've called the police.

N: (摇醒B)You are under arrest .(出示证件)You he the right to remain silent If you give up the right, anything you will say can and will be against you in a court of law!(带走B)

T: Wukong(S不理T)I admit my mistake this time(S仍不理)I'm sorry(小声)

S: What?

T: I'm sorry.

S: Em? Louder,please?

T: I......am......sorry.....(S 捂耳)（音乐响）《敢问路在何方》（这个放伴奏）

T: Let's go guys!( 歌)

S: You are carrying the luggage, I am leading the horse.

E: Say goodbye to the sun, Welcome evening glow.

J: Sleeping on the ground, again we set out set out, again we set out.

T.S.E.J: Ah......Ah...... Sleeping on the ground again we set out.

T: One after the other the seasons go by,and ohe after the other, the year go on. You wonder where the road is. The road is under your feet.

T.S.E.J: You uonder where the road is, the road is under your feet......

(谢幕)

商场英语小品，情景剧。50分奉送。

搞笑英语微**剧本《Whose treat》（英语5人搞笑微**剧本）

演员：A—— ，B—— ，C—— ，D—— ，旁白——

编剧：摄影：

后期制作：

插曲：场景一《铃儿响叮当》场景二《雪绒花》场景三《泰坦尼克号主题曲》场景四《flash》场景五《never say goodbye》或者《字母歌》

道具：一份报纸（最好是英文的），三份试卷（白纸即可），100元，64元找零，布娃娃

（场景一：未定空地____5个人都到，拍摄）

旁白：One day ，some yang people want to get takeout as their dinner

一天，几个年轻人想叫外卖吃（直接录旁白，念完时候镜头落在四个人身上）

A: let’s get takeout ,please?（旁白念完直接开始）

B:why not? I like it .（开心，满足）

C:It's up to you .(看着A）

D:OK,but i he a good idea……(手托下巴，卖关子）

A：go on ，please（请求语气）

D：we always ”going Dutch “,.it‘s time to enjoy someone’s treat……我们总是AA制，这次找个人请客吧（扫一眼大家，继续卖关子）

C: but how should we drag the unfortunate? talk to us,please(请求）

D：(笑）OK，OK…….Each of us tell a joke, if not making others laugh, just pay ！

我们每人讲一个笑话，如果不能把其他人逗笑，就买单哦。（得意）

A,B,C:good idea!(大家拍手，异口同声）

A：Let me tell a joke first .the title is” I'm Glad “.A school teacher was telling her pupils the importance of making others glad. 我先讲吧，题目是“我很高兴”。一个老师正在对学生讲使别人高兴的重要性。现在，她说

（切到场景二，到一个教室，或有椅子的地方，把笑话表演出来，，拍）

旁白：Now, she said现在，她说

赵雪：children ，has anyone of you ever made someone else glad?你们当中有谁让别人高兴过？

王鹏：teacher, I've made someone glad yesterday.昨天我就使别人高兴过。

赵雪：Well done. Who was that?做得好，是谁呢？

王鹏：My granny.我奶奶。

赵雪：Good boy. Now tell us how you made your grand mother glad.好孩子，现在告诉我们，你是怎样使你奶奶高兴的。

王鹏：Please, teacher, I went to see her yesterday, and stayed with her three hours. Then I said to her, ‘Granny, I'm going home,’ and she said, ‘Well, I'm glad’！是这样的，老师。我昨天去看她，在她那儿呆了三个小时。然后我跟她说：‘奶奶，我要回家了。’她说：‘啊，我很高兴！’

（切回场景一，BCD哈哈大笑A见状很开心，）

A：oh, i got it !我做到了（很开心）

B：yeah，yeah, maybe you just tell your own story .(指着A说完捂嘴笑）

A: I……（要解释，被B拦下）

B：OK，now ,It's my turn .”a gentle reminder”is the title.Hing been married a long time, my husband sometimes needs a gentle reminder of a special occasion. 婚后已久，我丈夫往往在一个特别事情上需要委婉的提醒。

(切换场景三，移至餐厅或有椅子的地方，拍摄，）

B：On the morning of our 35th anniversary, we were sitting at the breakfast table when I hinted, 在我们结婚35周年纪念的早上，我们正坐在早餐桌旁，我暗示道：（录旁白形式）

双："Honey, do you realize that we've been sitting in these same two seats for exactly 35 years?"“亲爱的，你意识到我们在这两个相同的座位上已坐了整整35年了吗？”

B：Putting down the newspaper, he looked straight at me and said,他放下报纸，眼睛直直地望着我：

田："So, you want to switch seats?"“因此，你想交换座位吗？”

（切回场景一，ACD哈哈大笑中，）

B：so, i got it,(对C）maybe you will like the man in the future (笑）it‘s your turn

C: oh,no ,he is stupid (不屑）,my title is “girl,oh little girl”题目是“让人无奈的孩子”When they're together, my five-year-old daughter and her cousin tend to cause mayhem. (['me?hem] )one Saturday, I put my foot down.我五岁的女儿和她的表妹在一起的时候，总要招来大乱。一个星期六，我开始抗议了。

（切至场景四，某空地，拍摄）

： "All right, you two,"No screaming , grag, whining, hitting, teasing, tattling, breaking toys, scratching or fighting."　　“好啦，你们两个，”我严厉地说，“不许叫喊，不许乱拿，不许哭闹，不许乱敲，不许取笑，不许扯淡，不许弄坏玩具，不许乱抓，不许打架。” （转身要走），

双：“come on ,MengMeng, let's get dirty . "“来，，我们来把自己弄脏吧。”

（切回场景一，ABD哈哈笑）

B：OK,we three all did it ,now,(对D）only you left

D:i’m very afraid now,maybe I’ll fail it . Let me try .it’s “A dollar per point”一分一块钱A professor was giving a big test one day to his students.一天，教授正在给学生们监考。

（切场景五，至教室，拍摄）

D(旁白形式）：He handed out all of the tests and went back to his desk to wait.他发下试卷，然后回到讲台前等待。（轩演教授，坐中间，演学生，考试时，左顾右盼很着急，交卷子时，左看看右看看掏出100元夹在卷子里并且写了一句话A dollar per point.）Once the test was over the students all handed the tests back in. "考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a $100 bill to his test with a note saying "A dollar per point."考试结束了，学生们纷纷交回试卷。教授发现一张试卷上别着一张百元钞票，还有一张纸条写着：“一分一块钱。”The next class the professor handed the tests back out. And walk up to the student ，said，第二堂课，教授把试卷都发回学生们手中。走到那个旁，

田：”here are your test and $64 change“这是你的试卷还有64块钱的找零。（邱大囧）

（切回场景一，ABC死憋住不笑，各种憋）

D:well,my treat(很无奈）OK，you win……i’ll buy it right now(走开）

（ABC终于放声大笑，落幕）

原网址 ://.jiaokedu/xiaopin/xiaopin_361488.html

售货员：早上好，有什么需要帮助的？

good moring,what can i do for you?

顾客：我想给我女儿买一个礼物作为惊喜。

i'd like to buy a gift for my daughter as a surprise.

售货员：看看这些裙子吧，它们很漂亮。

how about these skirts?they ane pretty.

顾客：不，谢谢，我女儿已经有许多了。